College, Life

Perfect Storm

be kindWelp, it’s that time of year again – back to school. Luckily, it’s my last semester. I’m counting down the days until I am officially done with school for the rest of my life. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t totally stoked. While many of my pals seem to have an easy semester ahead of them (particularly if they’re seniors), I have quite the opposite.

My final semester is going to be hell.

And no, that is not an exaggeration. That is a very, very accurate description.

I am taking five classes plus a film lab, so while luckily it is not technically a full load, one of those classes is my magazine capstone. And from what I have heard, capstone takes over your life.

I am not excited.

This first week has been so overwhelming. One of my classes was even cancelled all week, so who knows how life will feel once I have attended all my classes. I just can tell that this is going to be a rough semester, mentally and emotionally.

It’s been one week, plus a month of Jterm, and I am already drained. I’ve been attempting to stay positive and surround myself with positive people, but nothing seems to work lately. I’ve just been falling further and further down this rabbit hole of depression, and now I am just fed up. I am so worried and concerned about this semester and graduating, that I am beginning to lose sight of the bigger picture, of what really matters. And it sucks. Even though with each day I learn who truly cares about me and who I truly care about, it’s been rough being invisible.

But hey, that’s life. As a friend was telling me earlier, it’s a roller coaster. And as cliché as that sounds, she is very, very right. She said this all much more eloquently but to paraphrase, right now I am at the bottom and it may take a while to get back up to the top but the ride up will make being at the bottom worth it.

So what am I doing to maintain sanity lately? Well, music has been so incredibly helpful. Despite the fact I have been listening to a lot of sad music lately, it makes me feel better. Just connecting with a song for those few brief minutes takes me out of my head. Talking with family has been super helpful as well. So has chatting and hanging out with friends. As I said before, I am realizing in my low-point more than ever before who truly cares for me (and who I truly care for). And movies, going to the movies greatly helps me get out of my head because it gives me something else than my pathetic life to focus on for a few hours.

The key to maintaining sanity during low points is definitely reminding yourself that this is just a moment in the big scheme of life. Life will get better, you’ll get back up to the top of the roller coaster, it just may take a while.

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