College, Life

On the Edge

camusTo put it simply, for the past month or so I’ve been having a bit of a tough time. More than a bit, actually. But this week has really been the sad cherry on the pathetic sundae that is my life. One piece of bad news after the next.

Today alone has been completely awful. The day began with me oversleeping my four alarms (yes, four are needed in order to get my ass out of bed these days). And oversleeping them has pretty much been the usual, I’ve been so tired. I can’t fall asleep at night, I can’t get up in the morning. I just can’t.

Can’t has been a huge part of my vocabulary lately. As I type this in my night class, the list of things I can’t do anymore are running through my head. Can’t this, can’t that, what future do I even have?

Oh, and about writing this in my night class. I am doing so to keep me awake. Prior to starting this post, I was dozing hardcore. I mean, let’s be real, I was sleeping. I hate when that happens. I, I don’t mean to. I’m just so tired during the day lately, between all the bad news I’ve received and my inability to sleep well at night, my body is shutting down.

I finally started to turn my life around and then, BAM! Something comes out of left field just to push me back two steps.

I know exactly what you’re thinking. What is going on in my life that is so awful? And, will this post be uplifting at all? While I can’t disclose what is going on in my life, I’m just not comfortable with doing so yet, I can tell you how I am keeping myself from ending up six feet under. It’s all thanks to one person and what he keeps telling me.

It will get better.

After every text or Facebook message I send him informing him of how my life has gotten worse, he responds with “It will get better.” Even though he doesn’t seem right at this moment, I know eventually things will take a turn for the better. At least, I hope.

I haven’t given up yet, I mean I get a bit closer every day, but then he says “It will get better” and I am pulled back from the edge.

So, while my life is awful right now, and yours may feel pretty crappy too, just remember, it will get better.


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